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EDIT 09 06 2013 That s it I have had my fill of too many stupid, brain cell destroying comments posted on this review in the past few months asking me to write a best selling book before attempting to take apart Rick Riordan s writing As if the exclusive privilege of negatively criticizing a book is accorded only to published writers and not ordinary reviewers readers I do have the right to record my feelings about a book in my review And it s such a shame that I am actually being forced to put up this edit to make people aware of this fact If this review hurts your sentiments as a fan, I am sorry I can t help you there You must grow up and learn to let dichotomous opinions co exist in harmony on the same page That is all Caution Brutal honesty ahead Read at the expense of having to respect someone else s views What a feeble attempt at recreating the Harry Potter magic Aside from being highly unoriginal and unimaginative, the book grates on your nerves due to the frequency of Percy s lame attempts at sounding witty Seriously, I m supposed to laugh at his observations on the Bull Man and barnyard animals Not only did the writer not bother racking his brains to come up with a plot or a proper story, choosing instead to recycle key elements of the Harry Potter series, but he also ignored important aspects of a fantasy novel, one of which is the language To call the narration just bad will be an understatement Same can be said about the dialogue and the way the plot progresses it s one cliched event unfolding after another The only novel thing about this book is the seamless integration of Greek mythology into a fantasy based set up The 1 star is for that And so I d like to put a premature end to my review because I just realized the futility of writing one of a book I hated. When I was about halfway through this book, I started making a list of its similarities to Harry Potter Here is a sampling from that list 1 There are three young heroes a brainy girl Annabeth Hermione , a funny screw up type Grover Ron , and a somewhat troubled but very brave lead Harry Percy.2 People freak when the Harry Percy character says the name of a powerful character 3 The main bad guy Kronos Voldemort is seeking to return to his former power, but most people are totally in denial of that happening.4 The heroes train at a school that divides its students according to their character Chiron, the head trainer of the camp, equals Dumbledore 5 Chiron Dumbledore knows a prophecy about Percy Harry but won t tell Percy Harry what it is exactly.6 Percy Harry has a gross stepfather named Smelly Gabe who protects him during his childhood, so Smelly Gabe obviously equals the Dursleys 7 Harry Percy can talk to a certain animal because of his special gifts Harry could talk to snakes, Percy can talk to horses 8 Riordan s three young heroes face down a three headed dog at the end of their big quest, which if I m not mistaken is exactly what happens in HP1 granted, the three headed dog is straight out of Greek mythology, so I should cut Riordan some slack on this one.I could go on and on and on which would be fun for me, but I won t Instead, I ll shock you by saying that I totally loved this completely derivative book It s super fun and fast moving and the fact that it s kind of a HP rip off actually makes me like it God, I loved Harry Potter The Lighting Thief is like methadone That might be what I said about the The Amulet of Samarkand but it s true here I can t wait to read the second one I need A 82% Very Good Notes It s sugar and caffeine a dulcet pop sonnet moved by rhyming couplets of worldbuilding and perilous confrontation. i feel like this is one of those books you would stock in garages for decades until your children come across them and are suddenly forced to humanize you for the conceivably interesting creature that you were, and thus ameliorating your relationship with them while they are inspired to dreamummm can t wait to force my kids to read this tbh look, i didn t want to be a half blood x
Chiron looked surprised I thought that would be obvious enough The entrance to the Underworld is in Los Angeles As someone who has worked in Los Angeles, I can tell you that this is completely accurate.While Harry Potter was spending his summers at the Dursleys, Percy Jackson attended Camp Half Blood This book has done the impossible it has redeemed the name of Percy.Yes, that s right, that snot faced, lily livered waste of air of the very same name from the Harry Potter universe That name is now relegated to the ranks of acceptable, because of my love for this book.Perseus Percy Jackson is the kind of kid with whom you can t help sympathizing He is the type that s born under a dark star, because inevitably, wherever he goes, whatever he does, however good his intentions, he can t help but fuck everything up Everything that can, does and will go wrong A simple field trip can turn into a disaster in seconds.Jay Z s got 99 problems, Percy might have He nearly flunks all his classes, he s got dyslexia, he s got ADHD, and then there s Nancy Bobofit Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends I guess she d gotten tired of stealing from the tourists and dumped her half eaten lunch in Grover s lap Oops She grinned at me with her crooked teeth Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray painted her face with liquid Cheetos Nancy Bobofit is not a major character in the book I have to mention her because her character resounded with me I had my own Nancy Bobofit back in grade school, only her name is Mimi Nearly 2 decades later, the memory of her horrible face still makes me shudder But I digress.As if the bullies aren t bad enough, his dad is a no show, his stepfather is LITERALLY named Ugli, and there are crones foretelling Percy s death as well as a minotaur chasing his ass around AND NOBODY S TELLING HIM A SINGLE FUCKING THING What s with all the secrecy, man As it turned out, Percy is whispers special He is a half blood, meaning one of his parents is a Greek deity He gets sent to Camp Half Blood, with roughly 100 other kids like him.It s a freaky place for a kid who s known nothing but relative normalcy his entire life All of a sudden, he s playing Pinochle with a Greek God Dionysus what a drunk , his best friend Grover turns out to be a satyr, and the gorgeous blond girl who rescues him thinks he s a doofus and she keeps calling him seaweed brain To be fair, Percy had it coming He is kind of a seaweed brain Another time, Athena and Poseidon competed to be the patron god for the city of Athens Your dad created some stupid saltwater spring for his gift My mom created the olive tree The people saw that her gift was better, so they named the city after her They must really like olives Oh, forget it Now, if she d invented pizza that I could understand I said, forget it Not your best moment, Percy.As it turned out, Percy IS special His dad is one of the Big Three gods Which kind of sucks, because that s not supposed to happen About sixty years ago, after World War II, the Big Three agreed they wouldn t sire any heroes Their children were just too powerful A lot of people would think it was pretty cool to have such a powerful dadnot really Now that I was declared a son of one of the Big Three gods who weren t supposed to have kids, I figured it was a crime for me just to be alive Not only does Percy have to struggle to fit in at Camp Half Blood, but there s some shit going on in Mount Olympus The gods are fighting again when are they not During the winter solstice, at the last council of the gods, Zeus and Poseidon had an argument The usual nonsense Mother Rhea always liked you best, Air disasters are spectacular than sea disasters, et cetera and consequently, like a brother playing a prank on his younger siblings, someone s stuff was stolen And Zeus thinks that his bro, Poseidon, put Percy up to it.Of course, blame the poor kid Now Percy is shit out of luck YET AGAIN, and he s got no choice but to go on this huge stupid quest into the underworld Los Angeles, ha to clear his name.He s not alone, he s accompanied by the snarky, gorgeous, fiercely competent Annabeth she of the seaweed brain name calling , as well as the most incompetent satyr that ever lived In his pocket was a set of reed pipes his daddy goat had carved for him, even though he only knew two songs Mozart s Piano Concerto no 12 and Hilary Duff s So Yesterday, both of which sounded pretty bad on reed pipes It s going to be a loooooooong trip to the Underworld.The Setting THIS THIS IS HOW YOU DO GREEK MYTHOLOGY I am a Greek mythology buff I FUCKING LOVED THIS BOOK This book is just absolutely fucking perfect in every way when it comes to rewriting and reinterpreting the Greek pantheon It is so hilariously, awesomely irreverent, but completely fitting The gods are reimagined, but they stay true to their true nature, and the myths are retold in a cheeky, flippant manner that had me giggling my ass off This book is so fantastically snarky to the Greek gods Everything is incredibly well explained to a lay audience, like how the Greek gods can t seem to keep it in their pants Annabeth nodded Your father isn t dead, Percy He s one of the Olympians That scrazy Is it What s the most common thing gods did in the old stories They ran around falling in love with humans and having kids with them Do you think they ve changed their habits in the last few millennia And apparently, the habit runs true for both male and female goddesses What You assume it has to be a male god who finds a human female attractive How sexist is that The existence of Greek gods and goddesses themselves are well explained, and believable Come now, Percy What you call Western civilization Do you think it s just an abstract concept No, it s a living force A collective consciousness that has burned bright for thousands of years The gods are part of it Did the West die The gods simply moved, to Germany, to France, to Spain, for a while Wherever the flame was brightest, the gods were there They spent several centuries in England All you need to do is look at the architecture People do not forget the gods I had my doubts about the execution of the premise of Greek mythology, and all my doubts have been destroyed his book does great justice to the Greek gods, it is the most faithful rendition than I have ever read.The Characters Yes, Percy is a special snowflake, but HELL, I LOVED THE LITTLE SHIT He s got a special destiny He is a special child I DON T CARE Percy is such a sympathetic character, and although he won t be replacing Harry Potter in my heart any time soon, there is a special spot for him He can give up pretty fast He s kind of a wimp, but you know, finding out that you re a hald blooded demigod is kind of a big deal, and I understand his attitude of GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE I didn t know what else to do I waved back Don t encourage them, Annabeth warned Naiads are terrible flirts Naiads, I repeated, feeling completely overwhelmed That s it I want to go home now He doesn t really want to do anything big He s pretty stupid sometimes Auntie Em, geez , he s not exactly heroic He only does the heroic shit when there are no other options All right, I said It s better than being turned into a dolphin I loved Annabeth, she is all I could want from a female supporting character I can t say that I m fond of Groverbut I can t help feeling that we ll be seeing of him in the future But a quest to Grover swallowed I mean, couldn t the master bolt be in some place like Maine Maine s very nice this time of year Overall a fantastic book A good middle grade book makes you feel like a child again, and this book did just the trick I found myself giggling throughout the book, and an hour after reading it, there s still a smile on my face that can t be wiped off. Were you a bit weird in school Or are you still in school and think you re kinda weird I mean, everyone is weird, but you know that I mean Maybe you didn t fit in, maybe people thought you were a bit of a loser Maybe you had learning difficulties, were a target for bullies, got into trouble a lot, maybe it seemed like your teachers just didn t like you Maybe you sucked at reading and were even diagnosed with dyslexia Or ADHD.Well, don t worry Truth is, you re actually most likely a child of the gods with secret powers that enable you to zap those bullies and fulfill your true destiny Screw school, you ve got bigger things to deal with anyway Lol, this book is amazing My only regret is that I didn t have it when I was twelve years old because I would have read this until it was falling apart in my hands Every insecure kid so basically every kid should read The Lightning Thief I would want my hypothetical kids of the future to read this book It s the ultimate childhood fantasy discovering that everything people labelled as weird or negative about you is actually caused by your secret awesomeness Pretty perfect message, if you ask me I know, I know this is plain old childhood wish fulfillment at its finest But who cares The best kids books are all about wish fulfillment to some extent and it s not like Percy Jackson doesn t have his fair share of enemies and heartache It s the same idea that we all loved to buy into The orphaned and neglected Harry Potter discovering he is a wizard The nerdy loser ish Peter Parker developing special abilities and becoming Spiderman Children in the middle of WWII discovering a secret world through a wardrobe door in which they reign as royalty Percy Jackson finding out he is the son of a god and has his own super powers On top of the powerful message, this is a fast paced exciting fantasy story full of friendships, Greek mythology, magic, mystery, bad guys and girls, and constant adventure I enjoyed it now, despite me being a good ten years older than the target audience I would have enjoyed it even ten years ago You should definitely go read this Then, when you re done, give it to a kid to read too.Blog Leafmarks Facebook Twitter Instagram Tumblr I just had to get the illustrated edition It s so awesome I will leave some pics below and I took them last night so they are not great shots There are A LOT pictures as you can guess Like I said, sorry about the darkish pics I was taking them while laying in bed last night Lol Happy Reading Mel First ReadingI am FINALLY getting around to reading this series I thought the movies were okay, I do wish they would remake them and make them better, like the books Poor Percy Look, I didn t want to be a half blood If you re reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is close the book right now Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life Being a half blood is dangerous It s scary Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways If you re a normal kid, reading this because you think it s fiction, great Read on I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened But if you recognize yourself in these pages if you feel something stirring inside top reading immediately You might be one of us And once you know that, it s only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they ll come for you Don t say I didn t warn you My name is Percy Jackson.Most people already know the story of Percy Jackson and how he found out he was a half blood How he ended up in a half blood camp almost didn t How he beat a Minotaur and later on, many things I thought it was a fun read and I loved all of the different mythical creatures That was so wicked cool Percy makes some good friends in the camp and they go with him to do a quest He has been blamed for stealing something from Zeus, which he did not, so they have to set out to find who really did it Other wise there is going to be some knock down drag out with Zeus and Percy s father Poseidon and others of course So they set out on this quest They have to go have a little chat with Hades fun times They get attacked by many creatures of all shapes and sizes They also get help from certain creatures and a pink poodle named Gladiola who ran away from home and doesn t want to go back but does so the kids can have some reward money Wasn t that sweet Can you blame little Gladiola I mean I love the color pink, but NO, JUST NO Anyhoo, I did want to smack the group a few times because of stupid things, but who doesn t do those from time to time raises hand I loved when they saved the animals in the old truck they were riding in, Grover is awesome I look forward to reading ALL of the other 50 billion books in this ongoing Rick Riordan world MY BLOG Melissa Martin s Reading List A WritingA PlotA CharactersA MONSTERSI thoroughly enjoyed this book I wish I hadn t watched the movie before reading it, because I felt like that ruined a bit of enjoyment of this book for me, but for the most part I had such a fun time reading this book and I m looking forward to continuing on with the series. `Download Pdf ☘ The Lightning Thief ⇸ Alternate cover for this ISBN can be found herePercy Jackson is a good kid, but he can t seem to focus on his schoolwork or control his temper And lately, being away at boarding school is only getting worse Percy could have sworn his pre algebra teacher turned into a monster and tried to kill him When Percy s mom finds out, she knows it s time that he knew the truth about where he came from, and that he go to the one place he ll be safe She sends Percy to Camp Half Blood, a summer camp for demigods on Long Island , where he learns that the father he never knew is Poseidon, God of the Sea Soon a mystery unfolds and together with his friends one a satyr and the other the demigod daughter of Athena Percy sets out on a quest across the United States to reach the gates of the Underworld located in a recording studio in Hollywood and prevent a catastrophic war between the gods.